They Very Secret Diary of Harry Potter in ME
by Iocane
Summary: This is my take on Cassandra Claire's wonderful VSD series. Harry Potter has landed himself in Middle Earth, this is his story. PG-13 for slashy elements. I'm putting it under LOTR as the bulk of the characters are from here, as well as the setting.


Day One:  
Have gone to place called Middle Earth. V. strange. Am shortest person here. Going to meet wizard called Gandalf. Wonder if his beard is longer than Dumbledors.  
  
Day three:  
Showed Hobbits Famous Wizard card of Dumbledor. Seemed to think it was an evil trick of some kind esp. when he wandered off. V. distressing. Did not tell them about stash of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans.  
  
Day four:  
Dumbledor picture back on card. Hobbits happy again. Keeping it out of sight from now on. Had a bean after bedding down. Asparigus w. chili peppers. Better than Pippin's cooking. Suspect Strider a nancy boy - he keeps looking at my chest.  
  
Day seven:  
Was debating telling Hobbits about Every Flavor Beans when camp was attacked. Looked like Dementors but wand is broken so couldn't do spell. Got stabbed. Hurts! Strider tried to heal it, but don't think "kissing it better" helped any.  
  
Day ... uh ...  
Wound still hurts. Would kiss Snape to make it go away! Have been taken off by v. tall flatchested blonde girl. V. pretty.  
  
Day Twenty:  
Day is according to Merry. Turns out blonde is a boy. Oops! And an elf. V. v. tall for an elf! Ears smaller than expected, but actually v. nice. Also healed by elf. Fixed eyes. Don't need glasses! Go me. Blonde is called Legolas. Offered to give me bath. Declined as I'm not into boys. Pout was v. pretty though.   
  
Still short, esp. around here!  
  
Day Twenty One:  
Big meeting. Met another little man who kept calling me Frodo and trying to put his hand on my leg. Lots of arguing over ring around my neck. Offered to do what they were asking just to get them to shut up. Going on a trip. other Hobbits going. Legolas also. He seems v. happy about that, more than the others. Found out Strider also called Aragorn-son-of-Arathorn. Long name. Drawf named Gimli also going. Looks like lovechild of Hagrid and Prof. Flitwick. Gandolf looks a lot like Dumbledor. Maybe they're related?  
  
Still not tall.  
  
Day Twenty Two:  
Spent time w/ little man from yesterday. Also a Hobbit, called Bilbo. He gave me a glittery shirt and a knife. Shirt v. gay, will wear it under other clothes so no one gets ideas. Knife is okay - glitters like shirt, maybe a set.   
  
ood side - Taller than Bilbo! Go me!  
  
Day Twenty Five:  
Suspect Gimli has a thing for Legolas, keeps offering to braid his hair. Aragorn keeps arguing with other man, Boromir over little things. Wonder if they're married? Hobbits a lot of fun, don't mind shortness. Gave Legolas Bertie Bot's Every flavor bean last night. Pumpkin pie. Apparently not an elf-friendly flavor. Blast! V. upset.  
  
Day Twenty Nine:  
Climbing mountain. Hobbits all being carried. Now suspect Gimli has thing for hobbits. He tried to carry Merry and Pippin. I walked up myself. Go me! Legolas tagged along - was supposed to be scouting. Think his feet hurt, he kept jumping about. Hair v. pretty in sunshine. Smells nice, too. Considering wearing glittery shirt over other clothes. V. cold up here. Legolas offered to help keep me warm. Have accepted as he seems to have forgotten bean incident.  
  
Still short.  
  
Day Thirty Three:  
In Mines of Moria. Was only one who could figure out how to get in. Was nothing compared to a potions exam. V. dark in here. Somene keeps groping me. Hope it's Legolas. Have started to wear glittery shirt over other clothes.  
  
Still short, but no one can tell.  
  
Day Thirty Five:  
Gandolf dead. Pippin has taken it upon himself to personally cheer everyone up. Noise is v. annoying. Legolas loves glittery shirt.   
Also likes me short! Wonder why.  
  
Day Thirty six.  
Know why.  
  
Day Thirty Eight.  
Lorien v. pretty place. Everyone loves Gladrial. Don't see what the fuss is about. Legolas afraid he's not prettiest anymore. Will fix that.  
  
Day Forty two:  
The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything. No one here has a clue.  
  
Day Forty Five:  
Boromir got killed by orcs. Now he'll keep his hands off Legolas. Note: Had nothing to do with it. Not a thing. Must leave anyway. Legolas is going with. Yay! 


End file.
